It’s been awhile!!!

Hello, I have not written in my blog since the pandemic first hit the US in March. As with all of you, so much has happened.

I am currently expecting baby #2! Piltsintli is going to daycare where they are implementing all the COVID safe protocols, and I’m about to start teaching two online courses. Life has been full, both with joys but also with pain.

Quarantining has been our world. It has been a non-ending cycle of washing hands, mask-wearing, sanitizing everything, and worrying about loved ones. We don’t really see our family much. We’ve had a couple of close calls with exposures to the virus, so we’ve been trying to be careful. But it’s been hard.

And then with my pregnancy its an added worry. We found out in the summer we were expecting, and it’s been so joyful to bring this new person into the world. But the world is literally on fire and tensions are so high. A pandemic is ravaging the world. Children are still separated from their families at the border. There seems to be no end in sight.

And then there’s the continuous murdering of Black and Brown people. So we claim with all our hearts that Black Lives Matter. And we’ve lost friends over it. Yet I trust in God that the cause of decrying the murder of innocent lives of Black and Brown people, centering their experience, and celebrating their triumphs are all causes that honor the Lord.

So we pray. We trust in God. He is really our only hope. I trust in God that He will protect our family, and we do our part in social distancing, wearing our masks, hand-washing, and staying home as much as possible.

The pandemic has really made my husband and I really focus inwardly in our home, relationship, and prioritize what is necessary in our careers while letting go of what gets in our way of our ultimate goal of honoring the Lord, as it says in Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

This is the verse I’m clinging onto as I look to honor God in decrying the continuous murder of Black and Brown people, refusing to have peace with oppressors, and teaching my children that they are Brown and made in the image of God.

A Compilation of Tips, Activities, and Resources during Self-Isolation

As our communities grapple with the COVID-19 pandemic, we are all in shock, feeling slightly (or very) panicked, and now we are all full-time caretakers of our kiddos. To all the stay-at-home parents out there: I’ve always respected how much you work, but now living it in the flesh, you guys are amazing.

As I type this, my kiddo is on FaceTime roaring at his cousin who lives in Denver. It is loud, endearing, and makes me think that we are gonna get through this. Social distancing in the age of technology means that we can find means to have social interaction while not being in the same room. Thank God for this.

My city has basically cancelled everything for 3 weeks and health officials have recommended social distancing due to the COVID-19 pandemic. My first thought was “I can’t have my kiddo watch TV all day for 3 weeks.” While I’m not opposed to screen time, believe me, I need my kiddo to be entertained while I get things done! But I decided to ask friends, family, and social media for tips, activities, and resources to keep a semblance of structure during this time. I have also been on the lookout for advice on talking with our kids and our own self-care.

Let’s Talk With Our Kiddos and Care for Ourselves

I was talking to my son’s daycare teachers yesterday, and they were telling me that the kids as young as 2 years old, were asking what a “virus” is. The kids are aware, and we need to include them in these conversations at an age-appropriate level. It’s really important to address our kids’ questions, fears, and anxieties, while also taking care of ourselves as parents and caretakers. Here are several helpful resources:

The playground? The library? The museum? With schools closed for COVID-19, where can kids go?

Talking with children about Coronavirus Disease 2019: Messages for parents, school staff, and others working with children (CDC)

Coronavirus And Parenting: What You Need To Know Now

Parenting During COVID-19 A bulleted list to stick up on the fridge.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus (PBS)

Is your child more anxious than usual? Here’s advice on how to talk to kids about COVID-19

Daniel Tiger App for Parents (Designed with busy parents in mind, the app is simple, educational and entertaining for caregivers and children. It features over two dozen Daniel Tiger songs, supporting videos from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and helpful hints for parents about the important skills children need to be ready for school and life.)

Talking to Kids about the Coronavirus (COVID-19)

Kids Out of School Amid Covid-19 Crisis? This Homeschool Mom Has Some Advice

List of Activities

Since I have a toddler, much of what I’ve found is geared towards Pre-K, but if you have any tips, activities, and resources for the older kids, please reach out and I’ll be happy to include in this list.

McHarper Manor Art Tutorials Starting March 16

Ideas and free online resources for your kids to use during Covid-19 outbreak

50 PLUS EASY INDOOR ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS

School Closed Due to COVID-19: How Parents Can Thrive With School-Age Kids at Home

How to Entertain Your Young Children During School Closures Ages 1-4 (ish)

GIANT LIST OF IDEAS FOR BEING HOME WITH KIDS ( for: actual quarantine, school closures, weekend social distancing, anytime!)

busytoddler Instagram Page

Copy of Education Companies Offering Free Subscriptions due to School Closings

Scholastic Learn at Home (PreK-8)

Making the Most of COVID-19 School Closures

Kids Activities Blog

Stuck at Home? These 12 Famous Museums Offer Virtual Tours You Can Take on Your Couch (Video)

When my guy was two I would set the kitchen timer for him and have him do a little quiet play time for short periods, and then we would do something together when it dinged. He was really into it and it gave me short breaks.

— Karen Costa (@karenraycosta) March 13, 2020

If you have any suggestions, and would like to add to this list, please reach out!!

God bless, and remember to keep social distance, stay home, wash your hands for 20 seconds (No Scrubs chorus 2x LOL)!

Pensamiento #6: Hectic Life is the Dream Life

It’s been awhile. Life gets hectic.

I’ve been wanting to write, and so here it goes. I feel stretched thin. I have demands at work, my son is now a toddler that wants to play, the house is a constant mess, and date night seems less and less likely to happen in the midst of responsibilities and duties.

At the Starbucks Drive Thru trying to pump myself up with Beyoncé before a talk on my research. I don’t look tense at all..

But I reflected on this this evening as we went for pizza, the three of us. It was fun and stressful, since Piltsintli is now doing this new thing where he fake cries (really loud) when he gets bored or if the hubbs or I are ignoring him to talk about grown up things. We then went to the mall close by to take him to the little play area to get the wigglies out. As we walked in, I felt something pull at my heart.

We work out butts off, both my husband and I. The kind of work we both do requires that it come home with us, and after the boy goes down at night to sleep, we continue working, each of us on our computers, clik-claking away while New Girl plays in the background (thank God for Netflix).

But we work our butts off in careers that we love, that we went to school for, trained years and years for.

My parents worked their butts off their whole lives, and many times it was in jobs that they probably didn’t like, possibly hated. My dad was discriminated against, called racist names by coworkers, and dealt with life-threatening circumstances when he was a truck driver that had to drive through snowstorms to deliver the merchandise of his company. And they still were great parents to us, dedicated time for us, took us on vacations when they could, and everyday showed us how much they loved us.

And so, yes, life has been hectic. But I realize now, all those all-nighters in grad school, the stresses of writing a dissertation, the uncertainty of getting a job in academia, are in the past, and I am living a present that is 1000% more busy, but the uncertainty is not there (almost, just need to get tenure, hehe).

I love my job, and I love my husband and kiddo. I’m much more tired, not as skinny, greying and noticing some creases on my forehead, but wow I am happy, and I am fulfilled.

Praise God.

(Now if He would make my student loan repayments go away, MAN I would be livin’ the life… 😉 )

“A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness” -Ecclesiastes 2:24-26a

 

Pensamiento #5: The Joy of Exhaustion

They say that you can’t have it all as a woman: career, relationship, children, social life, time to work out, etc., etc.

I have been a mother for five months now, the question of “having it all” is more present, I have to admit. At this moment, it has been a week of my son’s sleep regression, lots of activity at work, piles of grading to be done, messy house needing to be cleaned, and not having worked out in over a week. As I write this, I am averaging 4 hours of sleep, with loads upon loads of work (work-work and housework). I am tired. So I’m not going to pretend that my life is perfect. In my weakest moments, seems as though something may have to give.

This may be a time in my life where I am the most busy and the most tired I have ever been. It’s hard. But an added stress that I believe is unnecessary is that our society puts so much emphasis on “doing what makes you happy.” Happiness is fleeting: you can be happy one moment, and upset the next. There are days my job makes me unhappy. There are nights my little one just won’t go to sleep, and that makes me unhappy (insert crying emoji here). Some days my husband and I haven’t talked all day and I feel distant from him, and that makes me unhappy. And so many people freak out when they are unhappy, and they think need to change something drastically in their life to achieve the ever-fleeting happiness.

But while happiness is fleeting, the joy that comes from the Lord is constant. And as I reflect on my life, and I realize one truth: I have joy.

Despite my exhaustion, seeing my son smile at me every morning brings me joy.

Although I am tired, preparing my lessons and seeing my students have that “Aha!” moment brings me joy.

Even though we are both busy people, my husband is my best friend, who will put everything and anything aside to sit down with me and enjoy a cup of tea, and that brings me joy.

The constant busy-ness of my work-life where I have meetings, lesson plans, grading, and upcoming projects brings me joy.

Working out and seeing that I can now jog a mile without passing out brings me joy.

I do want to clarify: And I am in no way saying that over-doing it to the point of making yourself sick is OK. We need rest and take care of our bodies. And we need to cut ourselves some slack as mothers. We need to learn to say “no” to some things. And you if are experiencing fatigue please see a physician.

But I guess the main point of this post is this: I am tired, so, so tired, but the things that I spend my energy on give me joy. And in the exhaustion of my life, I realize that I don’t want a perfect life. I want a joyful life, one that only comes from God, and that life may be hectic, messy, and exhausting.

Now, could I use a nap? Naps bring me joy too. 🙂

 

So can women have it all?

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13).

“The joy of the Lord is my strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Pensamiento #4: How Motherhood has Evolved my Identity

It was very late in the morning and I was still in my nursing pajamas and my hair up in a super greasy bun. After attempting to get my son down for a nap, and feeling fairly certain that he was going to go to sleep, I jumped into the shower. It was a much-needed shower, and as soon as I got in I relished the hot water hitting against my back. But as I was finishing up shampooing, I could hear my son screaming. “Why?” I thought to myself and exasperation. I haven’t even washed my body and I already was having to get out of the shower to tend to my son. 

I quickly lathered up, rinsed, and jumped out only to realize he’s gone back to sleep. “Can I shave my legs?” I wondered. I quietly sat on the edge of the tub, lathered on some shaving cream and shaved my legs. It felt like being me again.

I’ve been a mom for only two months, and yet I feel as though it has consumed my entire identity and sense of being. This child depends completely on me for his survival, and being his protector is such an intense and visceral experience. 

And I also know that as this summer winds down, I will be going back to work: back to a part of my life that seems to have happened so long ago. And I absolutely love my job, I went to school for many years, wrote a dissertation, and worked really hard to get to where I am now. That was my identity: an educator informing of historical injustices, past and current cultural experiences, and being an ally for my students who need my help the most. 

When I had my son, I became so emotional and sensitive to suffering that I couldn’t watch certain shows or movies that I used to watch with no problem (I cried during the trench warfare scene in Wonder Woman because of the suffering children!). I now avoid the news when I used to be such a news and politics junkie. And now going back to work seems overwhelming, not just because I’ll be leaving my baby for several hours, but because this new intense part of me now exists: I am a mother now. And being a mother now causes me to feel so deeply when another human being suffers. How will I handle teaching on mistreatment and suffering of entire groups of people? How do I embrace who I was before I became a mom, and how do I click together this new aspect of my identity of being a mom?

Then I think about when I was in grad school, and I wanted to quit so many times. My husband would encourage me by reminding me: “Estás preparando el nido” (“You’re preparing the nest”), which is to say that completing my education paved a way to provide a stable home for our future children. When we found out that I was expecting a baby, we loving nicknamed him “Pollito” (“baby chick”) referring to our “preparing the nest”.

Now that my son is here and I’ve completed my education, our “nest” is full and stable. Day by day, I am learning to embrace the different parts of who I am to take care of our “nest” and our baby. That includes my love for teaching, support of students, caring for my husband and son, as well as caring for myself. 

And caring for myself in the little things, like sneaking into the bathroom to finish my self care of shaving my legs. I am a mother, but I am still Laura. My identity, who I am, is multifaceted and complex. And who I am is the person that my son will one day learn about, appreciate, and emulate as he prepares his own “nest” one day. I love who I was before I had my baby, yet now with this new part of my identity of being a mother, I am excited for who have become and continue to evolve to be.

Pensamiento #3: Due Date

Arriving at your due date is an emotional experience. When I was writing my dissertation, the due dates were days filled with anxiety and utter and complete stress to turn in that chapter, revision, and ultimately, complete manuscript. But I appreciated due dates because it was the marker to the end of something, and a way to show that I have accomplished what I set myself out to do. It was the day I got to show the product of my labor.

This experience of a due date when it comes to having a child has been tremendously difficult. I know, a due date is more of an educated guess, and so you can have your baby, give or take, a week before or a week after, and it’s a healthy delivery with a full term, beautiful baby. But I am one of those women who suffer what’s called “prodromal labor”, aka “false labor”. You basically have regular contractions, but there is no change cervical dilation or effacement. I had 2 episodes of prodromal labor at 37 weeks, one lasting 16 hours, and the other lasting 24 hours (the last two hours I was contracting every 3 minutes for a minute and a half. The doctors in OB triage didn’t know what to do with me since I was clearly showing on the monitor that I was contracting, so they gave me morphine to ease my pain). I didn’t know prodromal labor existed, and I was always under the impression that “false labor” were the well-known Braxton Hicks. 

I had another bout of prodromal labor a day before my due date, but I thought it was the real deal. I couldn’t be having false labor, my due date was the next day! I was so excited to arrive at my due date, ready to show the world the fruit of my labor, my brand new, beautiful baby boy that I had gestated and housed in my body for nine long months. 

But 15 hours later (with the last two hours being very painful back labor pains), my contractions simply fizzled out. It’s right smack on my due date, and I STOPPED having labor pains. How could this be?! I was so angry and tired. So much pain, so much work, for NOTHING. I went upstairs, took some Tylenol and Benadryl,  and went to sleep. 

After I woke up from my angry nap, I went downstairs and watched Black-ish,  one of my favorite tv shows. Laying on my side, my baby started hiccuping and kicking away, and all that anger I had just kind of went away. At the end of the day, he’s a healthy boy, and as tired and miserable as I was, I am also healthy and have had a smooth pregnancy. I thought to myself, “This pain really, really sucks. But my baby is worth it.” 

I didn’t want to, but I needed to leave the house. I needed to get out of my pity-party. I am writing this post as I sit in the car waiting for my husband to get a hair cut, since the contractions fizzled out we figured he would take advantage of the time, and we are also going to go to the mall to walk around. More work, more labor before the actual labor!

So today is my due date, it’s 3:38pm and baby is still happily kicking in my womb. What do I have to show the world on this due date? Because people have definitely been texting and calling, and I appreciate the excitement for my son’s arrival. 

What I have to show, the fruit of my labor, on this due date, is that I am learning to love someone so much that pain after pain, it is worth it just so that one day I get to see his big beautiful eyes look at me, his proud mama, who labored so long for him to come into this world.

Pensamiento #2

What makes a teacher? 

The past couple of days I’ve been thinking about this question, especially given the person who has been recently confirmed as Secretary of Education. I posted my concerns of this on social media, and shared that I went to a certain school in which homeschool workbooks were used to teach and most of the adults supervised. I wrote it in a moment of anger at the confirmation of this woman, and I used the word “babysit” at one point, which caused  major blow back from some of the people who went to that school and worked there as well. One person questioned what the difference is between a babysitter and a teacher, as well as the importance we give university degrees.

So, what makes a teacher? 

If you look at the origin of the word doctor it comes from the same Latin word meaning “learned person; teacher” and derives from the Latin word docere which means “to teach”. In the Middle Ages those who were learned in Scripture were called doctors because of their knowledge. The first doctorates awarded by universities were to theologians, which with time extended to other fields of study. 

Going along this vein, I see that a person who is knowledgeable and imparts their knowledge is a teacher. In today’s society, a professional teacher is this, but has to fulfill certain requirements to be able to teach students in certain educational institutions. Gaining a college degree and passing qualifying exams to gain licensure are the first steps, and once they are in the classroom,  teachers are evaluated based on student acquisition of knowledge, be it through standardized tests and various assessment tools. But at the end of the day, a professional teacher has to be subject to evaluation, period.

Now, this person on social media asked what the difference is between a babysitter and a teacher. A teacher imparts knowledge, a babysitter ensures the child is taken care of in the absence if its parents. A professional teacher does both. While many the adults at this particular school took care of us students, they did not fulfill the other part of imparting academic knowledge. Did they impart other knowledge and moral standards? Absolutely. But it is not the same as a professional teacher. 

Anyone can be a teacher. However, I speak as a professional teacher, a career for which I have dedicated years of training and knowledge acquisition. Being a professional teacher is a legitimate career, subject to preparation and evaluation, which are not only appropriate but necessary. Let’s not diminish the professionalization of educators, it takes so much work and is a dignified career choice. 

Pensamiento #1

Hello, my name is Laura, and I just decided today to start writing a blog. I am currently pregnant, in my third trimester, and work as a professor teaching Mexican American studies. This is my first baby, and along with this experience, there are many firsts in my experience that I want to write about. I’ve been wanting to write about being a Christian, a woman, a Chicana, a first-time mamá, an academic, a child of immigrants mexicanos, and an educator. I am bilingual, hablo español, and bicultural who was raised in a Mexican household. Estos serán pensamientos míos que tengo a través de la semana that I would like to process and share. I think and speak in Spanglish most of the time, and that’s the best way for me to communicate my pensamientos.
I’ve been thinking a lot about identity, particularly as a Chicana that is educated and soon to be a mom. This past week has been emotional, with many things making me cry. Throughout my pregnancy I have not been extremely emotional, especially during my first trimester since I was finishing my dissertation and graduating. I have more time now, I teach online and that’s forced me to slow down. I’ve enjoyed my pregnancy, I absolutely love watching the crazy moves my baby does, ¡es un bailarín! But some older women around me have said que no debo llorar mucho porque le afecta al niño, which hasn’t sat well with me. I know if I’m stressed it can affect the baby, but so does having a good cry? I started to question this, and get a bit angry that this was possibly the start of other women making me believe I had to change who I am and define myself through my baby. I don’t believe it is healthy to establish my identity around my child; being a mom is part of my identity, but it is not solely who I am. I spoke to my husband about this, and he agreed. We talked some more about how the baby and his future is something we both think about, and I did come to realize something: while the baby does not define me, what I do, how I confront my problems, and how I behave does impact him. As a person who deals with anxiety disorder, this realization was so important, because coping with anxiety is healthy not only for me, but also for my child. This realization made me look back at the consejos of the older women in my life, and accept that their advice como personas que ya lo vivieron is valuable. Being educated does not mean I know it all, and it was so humbling to see how God used my weepy week and las señoras que me quieren to realize that I can still be me, but appreciate and understand the importance of being a healthy mamá for my little one, and that includes mental health. And my husband reminds me many times, when stripped of career, relationships, health, and all the added blessings God has given me, my identity is in Christ and being forgiven.

¡Dios les bendiga!

De modo que si alguno está en Cristo, nueva criatura es; las cosas viejas pasaron; he aquí todas son hechas nuevas.

2 Corintios 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthias 5:17